Crazy
by 123laura3215
Summary: Andy is having some trouble with his new fighter, the guy is completely crazy. Can anyone help him figure out what to do? Warnings for ridiculousness.
1. Chapter 1

"_It's Praxis to my friends. Mr. Praxis to my servants. But to you, you smelly dog haired Colteron? It's: THE PRAXINATOR."_

Oh dear god, thought Andy as he navigated them through the battlefield, surely there was something seriously wrong with his fighter.

"_Yeah, take that you green bitch! BANG!"_

Initially he'd thought that Praxis had had his head hit recently and was suffering some sort of... passing insanity? But it had been three weeks since he'd first set foot on The Sleipner and Praxis was just as weird as that first flight.

"_This is CC to all starships, the enemy is nuetralized, repeat, the enemy is neutralized, pleased return to the bay immediately."_

Thing was, Praxis was downright normal when they weren't in the ship, in fact Andy wasn't entirely sure that his fighter didn't have split personality syndrome that only appeared when flying the ship. Whatever it was, it needed to stop, and it needed to stop _now, _and Andy was going to make it happen.

He had to find out more about his fighter – but where to go? Who to talk to?

Andy walked into something solid and warm, and was shoved roughly backwards and sent sprawling across the floor.

"_Watch your fucking navigator, Cyclops!"_

Cain. He and Praxis seemed to have it in for each other.

"_Shut your mouth, Cain. And don't touch my fucking navigator!"_

For the first time, Andy noticed another navigator standing behind Cain, who tugged on his arm.

"_Cain, just leave it alone. Come on, Keeler wants me to do some more repair work tonight..." _

"_Go away Abel, this isn't your business"_

"We have an hour before either of us needs to be anywhere..."

Cain snapped his head up to Abel's at that. Looked at him long and hard, until a grin spread across his face.

"_Let's go."_

Cain sneered one last time at Praxis, spat at Andy's face, turned on his heel and walked away. Abel stood there looking awkwardly between Andy and Praxis, the latter of which was staring at him with open mouthed adoration.

"_Hurry it up, Princess"_

Abel blushed, and turned away after Cain. Huh. He was Cains navigator? That guy was completely insane, but Abel looked like he could sort of control him, and he didn't miss the look between him and Praxis.

Maybe Abel could help him out...


	2. Chapter 2

Just ask him. It wasn't that difficult, Abel was nice, just ask him what he knows about Praxis and see if he can help at all. Except everytime he found Abel, Cain was there, and he was avoiding a run in with him again at all costs, there had already been too many.

That's what he was thinking until something caught his foot the the floor sped up to meet him, just like the first time he'd set foot on the Sleipnir. Like, congratulations! You're a real navigator now! Have a hi five! To your face. With some reinforced space metal.

They didn't teach navigators how to defend themselves, and Andy had been naïve enough to think that he wouldn't have to, but of course that was a stupid notion – going into a war not knowing how to fight! Never had a punch throw in his life. So this time when he tripped he used his hands to break his fall, never learning how to fall properly, and ended up twisting one of the painfully and knocking the side of his face hard enough that he tasted blood once everything stopping spinning.

Andy didn't have to open his eyes to know what had caught his foot, and the voice the laughter was coming from was all to familiar, the only person in this place who really had it in for him. When Andy cracked open an eye, groaning, Cain was crouching down and grinning snarkily at him.

"All right?"

Blew more cigarette smoke in his face than was really necessary.

"Yeah you're just fine, aren't you? Little bitch."

Andy yelped a little when Cain pulled him up by the hair, not partially up, but all the way onto his feet and shoving him roughly against the back wall. If he looked amused before, he was pissed now. This wasn't how it usually went, normally he'd trip Andy and laugh at him then piss off, but for some reason now he was taking it further.

"So, tell me, little cyclops – what the fuck you following Abel around for? After a fuck?"

Andy's eyes widened, he hadn't thought anyone had noticed. Had it been that obvious? He'd only been after some answers, didn't mean to get Cain jealous. This wasn't good.

"N-"

"Don't fucking lie to me, you've been shadowing him all week, hovering at every fucking corner. What the fuck do you want? You on some little mission for Praxis? Because I'll fucking blind you if you are."

Cain was holding onto Andy's shoulder too tight now, he could feel the bones slipping and whining under the pressure, threatening to snap, his eyes tearing up with salt water. Navigators weren't built for fighting, and that's why they never learned.

"Cain? Cain, you around?"

Cain let go suddenly, slipping an arm under Andy's and pulled him forwards, stumbling and tasting metal in his mouth.

Abel rounded the corner then, face flitting from surprise to worry at the sight in front of him.

"Cain! Someone said they saw you ar- Oh! Oh, what happened? Are you okay?"

Abel hurried forwards, inspecting Andy's face while Cain talked over his fussing; just had a nasty fall, going to take him to medical.

"Oh, um, Encke was looking for you, I can take him down there," peered into Andy's eye, searching for concussion or something "if you're okay to walk?"

"He's fine. Just needs to fucking watch where he walks. Isn't that right?"

Abel gave Cain a funny look, leaned over to kiss him before taking Andy's arm and helping him hobble down the corridor, chattering in his ear about something. Andy caught a backwards glance at Cain, scowling at him darkly with cigarette smoke hazing around his head like he was up in a cloud bank. He shivered a little at which Abel pulled him a little closer and hurried them along faster, realising that now he had Abel alone he should just ask him about Praxis, but holding his tongue, not wanting the conversation to get back to Abel's fighter.

What the heck was going on?


End file.
